I couldn't sleep last night. I'm not sure why. Raging hormones? Antibiotic withdrawal? It's strange that I slept really well most of the time during my seven weeks of IV treatments but, now that I'm free of the tubes and the stress, I'm struggling. It might have something to do with the fact that I'm no longer taking Benadryl twice a day. Whatever the reason, I could not get to sleep last night and I refused to take something to put me to sleep. I've had to take WAY too many drugs in the last three months!
Terry and I joke about the "jukeboxes in our heads" because we both sometimes wake up with a song playing in our brains. Well, as I was falling asleep last night the jukebox was, for some strange reason, playing "Islands in the Stream" that 80s era duet by Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton. What the heck!?! There was NO WAY my brain was going to sleep to that tune and I decided I needed to change it. I started thinking about "When You Say Nothing At All" ... our song, by Keith Whitley. Unfortunately, I couldn't get my fuzzy old brain to remember all the words. I was remembering it backwards - from the end to the beginning - but couldn't get all the way there. Frustrated, I got up to look at our wedding album because I knew the words were in there. While looking I also found the words to another song that meant a lot to me during our courtship, Kathy Mattea's "A Few Good Things Remain." I listenened to both of them on my computer and ultimately went to sleep with something much more pleasant playing in the jukebox.
I was very moved by the fact that today, in the 20th year of our relationship as a couple, as we approach our 18th wedding anniversary, those two songs are still very relevant and representative of our relationship. We haven't lost sight of our love and commitment to each other and Terry is still the man of my dreams. I think that's pretty awesome considering today's throw away society. People jump from partner to partner and true commitment seems to be a rare commodity. I'm thrilled that after all we've been through, we're still together AND we still truly love each other - probably a lot more than we did 20 years ago.
I thank the Lord for sending Terry into my life on that May day all those years ago. He's my best friend, my partner, my everything. And, as we like to say ... the adventure continues.
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